Communication: Centering and Expressing

When we are in a relationship where we feel listened to and understood, we count ourselves lucky because we know how rare that experience is. We reserve our most intimate selves for the people who, along with us, co-create an open space where we feel free to express ourselves and listen without judgment. These relationships, which thrive on open communication, can mean the difference between existential loneliness and a deep sense of belonging. We all long to feel heard, understood, and loved, and clear communication makes this possible.

Sometimes problems arise in the process of expressing how we feel, but it is always worth it to do the work. Even in our less intimate relationships, expressing ourselves honestly is essential to our sense of well-being. Whether at home with family or in the outside world, successful communication requires some forethought; otherwise we risk blundering through our relationships like the proverbial bull in a china shop. However, too much forethought can stifle us or cause us to pad our words so extremely that we end up saying nothing at all or confusing the matter further. The good news is that there are many methods that can come to our rescue, from meditation to visualization to journaling.

If the person we need to communicate with is open to sitting in meditation together for a set period of time before speaking, this can be invaluable. When we are calm and centered, we can count on ourselves to speak and respond truthfully. We can also meditate on our own time and then practice what we need to say. A visualization in which we sit with the person and lovingly exchange a few words can also be a great precedent to an actual conversation. If writing comes easily, we can write out what we need to say; it may take several drafts, but we will eventually find the words. The key is to find ways to center ourselves so that we communicate meaningfully, lovingly, and wisely. In this way, we honor our companions and create relationships in which there is a genuine sense of understanding and respect.

~Reprinted with permission from DailyOM.com

Friend

We have often heard something like; “you pick your friends, but family is picked for us”. Family is certainly something we are “gifted” with and it can sometimes be a struggle to understand if the stork was drunk or simply lost. Good or bad, we spend most of our lives trying to be part of our family and be accepted as equal. Some day’s and some people are certainly more difficult than others. Either way, because they are our family, we almost always keep trying.

However, do we really pick our friends either? True friendship, is shared, without jealousy, control and insecurity and is very rare indeed. I would suggest that those that profess to have a large circle of friends and several BFF’s as they are now referred, simply have many close acquaintances with similar interest. Each of those acquaintances having different needs, wants and limitations and not always in your best interest. Read more

Master the Art of Listening

“So when you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you are listening not only to the words, but also to the feeling of what is being conveyed, to the whole of it, not part of it.” -Jiddu Krishnamurti

Master the Art of Listening:
No wonder listening is an undervalued art. Research shows that we speak at a rate of about 125 words per minute, yet we have the capacity to listen to approximately 400 words per minute. So what are we doing with that extra space in our minds when someone else is talking? Are we really listening? This article offers seven pointers on how to sharpen our ability as listeners. [Read more here]

Be The Change:
Try honing your listening skills this week with some of the pointers shared in the article above.

~~Reprinted with permission from DailyGood.Org – Submitted by Patrick Koppula

A question of balance

One of the most beautiful qualities of an intimate relationship is the give and take of energy that occurs between two people. In the best-case scenario, both people share the talking and listening, and the giving and receiving of support, equally. Occasionally, within any relationship, the balance shifts and one person needs to listen more, or give more. Generally, over a long period of time, even this exception will take on a balanced rhythm; we all go through times when we take more and times when we give more.

However, there are also relationships in which the balance has always felt one-sided. You may have a friend whom you like, but you have begun to notice that the conversation is always about their life and their problems and never about yours. You may also have a friend who seems to require an inordinate amount of Read more

Dr. Rob’s Intention of the day, April 2nd, 2009, Hop on board The Relation Ship

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The journey of finding a relationship

Before we embark upon the journey of finding the relationship that is right for us, we may want to take the opportunity to refine our concept of who we are and our ideas of what we want from life. That way, we are clearer on the kind of person we want to attract into our lives. Part of the journey of finding a mate is Read more

Reason, season and life

A friend sent this to Dr. Rob the other day and he wanted to share it with all of you …

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.  When you know which one it is, Read more

Everyday Practices

If your everyday practice is open to all your emotions, to all the people you meet, to all the situations you encounter, Read more

Dr. Rob’s Intention of the day, April 30th, 2008, Relationships

“Relationships”

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