My Lesson in Relaxing

Success! I started the New Year off with something that was going to be very challenging for me- a vacation.  No work, no plans, and not a thing in the world to do.  I had to work very hard to let go of worry, anxiety, guilt of not working, and the need to be moving, working, and planning.  At the beginning of last summer I made it a point to give myself one day a week off from teaching and riding and now I’ve successfully completed a five day vacation!

Believe it or not I actually learned a lot from the people who live and work on the island of St. Lucia, rather than other vacationers, about relaxing.  The beautiful people of St. Lucia live on “island time.”  Island time means you have all the time in the world to get done whatever it is that needs to be done and you therefore never have to worry or fret because things will be done when they get done.  No worries.  I don?t mean to imply that they don?t work hard or
efficiently- they most certainly do!  Perhaps they are so efficient because they are not burdened with the worry or fear of not accomplishing their tasks.  When their work is completed they know how to truly soak up and enjoy their down time. Read more

Happiness- Do you want fries with that?

In today’s modern society we can get most everything in an instant. Fast food.  Fast cars.  Instant messages.  Emails.  Text messages.  Online ordering.  Instant gratification.  One would think that with everything being right at our finger tips that we would be happy with all of this instant gratification.  Why then are so many people unhappy?

While many of our needs, wants, and desires can be taken care of instantly many more cannot and this is where many people become restless and unhappy.  Success in any aspect of life does not happen instantly.  No body, no matter what the tabloids say, literally becomes successful or famous or rich over night.  Successful people work hard, are determined, and often, according to Malcolm Gladwell, put in over 10,000 hours of practice before making it big.  If Jack Canfield had wanted instant success he never would have gotten the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” books published. He would have given up because over 100 publishers turned him down before any one told him yes.  Read more

Putting it to the Test

One of my big personal goals in 2009 was to give myself a day off and learn how to relax and to let go of the guilt of not working.  Well so far I’ve gotten much better about at least taking a couple of hours in the afternoons on my day off to rest, read, and take time to myself.  But 2010 is going really test my ability to let go, relax, not work, and not feel guilty.

I am starting the New Year with a vacation. Sigh. Now that might sound fabulous to most people but it is really going to be a challenge for me.  Especially because I’ve already caught myself going online and trying to plan activities (like riding a horse on the beach, does anyone truly believe that I can go five days without getting on a horse?!) and things to do  while I spend a few days at a relaxing resort on the beach. I will probably be the only one up at 5am looking for something to do rather than simply enjoying the fact that I can sleep in, not have to put on ten layers of clothes and hike down the barn through a foot of blowing snow and feed horses in single digit weather. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I just sit still, not plan, and just be? Read more

Choice

Life itself is not a choice. We didn’t choose to be born and we don’t get to choose when we die. What we can do, is choose everything else in between. We can choose our job. We can choose where we live. We can choose our friends and lovers.  We can choose to smile and not frown. We can choose to laugh and not cry.  We can choose to be grateful and not complain.  We can choose to see the bright side instead of the dark side.  We can choose to be helpful and to be friendly.  We can choose to follow our dreams and make them come true.  We can choose to be confident and inspired and happy and joyful and kind and enthusiastic and to believe.  We can choose to sing and dance and to smile.  We can choose forgiveness and love. Read more

Riding Lessons For Life #18

Balancing Energy:
I’ve observed something interesting in the relationship between horses and riders.  Horses and riders create harmonious partnerships; they tend to balance one another out.  Riders that have very active, energized personalities do very well on calm, relaxed horses.  The relaxed horse needs an energized rider to get them motivated!  Riders that are very calm and relaxed themselves do well on highly energetic horses because the calm rider tends to relax the energized horse.

Balance.  The different personality types balance one another so that horse and rider are in harmony. I’ve also observed this same balance in humans.  When you’re feeling down or unmotivated, you seek out those people in your life that will energize and lift your spirits up.  When you have a hundred things happening at once in your life, you seek those that will help calm and relax you.  We all balance each other in life.  Read more

Acknowledging All Feelings

Our emotions can often be overwhelming.  Although we may try to maintain positive thoughts all the time, we are human and are therefore prone to a wide range of emotions and feelings.  When we feel positive emotions like love, happiness, and gratitude the world seems at peace.  What do we do when we feel more negative emotions like anger, frustration and sadness?  Suppressing or ignoring those negative emotions is not going to make them go away.  Although it may be more difficult than acknowledging a positive feeling, acknowledging ALL of our emotions is exactly what we should do.

The first step of this process is to identify your feeling or emotion.  Being present in the moment and being aware of what your mind and body are telling you is key here.  Sometimes identifying an emotion can be tricky.  For example, your initial reaction to a situation may have been anger but you are really feeling more hurt than angry.  Taking a quiet moment to reflect on exactly what you are feeling and to identify it is the first step. Read more

Riding lessons for life #15

Positive Competition Attitude:
Maintaining a positive mental attitude is important in all aspects of life, but as a competitor as well as a coach I am constantly aware of how important a positive mental attitude is in a competition setting. Horse show riders need to keep a positive attitude in the show ring.

I find it’s important to visualize jumping your course of fences perfectly with your horse.  You have to keep those positive images and those positive thoughts in your head as you enter the ring.  Any negativity or worry will transpire to the horse and he’ll also begin to worry!  Thinking positively during your whole course is imperative.  Even if you have a mishap at one jump, keep going as if nothing happened and try to do the next one better.  It’s essential that one mistake doesn’t snowball into everything getting worse and worse.  The same is true in life; we don’t let one bump in the road throw us totally off course!  Instead we take a deep breath, learn from our mistake, gather ourselves up and get back on track. Read more

Love yourself and create a loving Universe

Love yourself and create a loving Universe before you can truly engage in loving relationships with other people and the world around you, you must first do one simple thing: love yourself.  Loving yourself may actually be a challenge for a lot of people.  We often lack self esteem, criticize ourselves, blame ourselves, worry, don’t give ourselves enough credit, don’t trust ourselves, and generally do not feel worthy of love.   When we feel this way, this is what the Universe the delivers to us.  Getting stuck in a downward spiral of feeling bad about ourselves is very harmful to us.  It inhibits our ability to grow, explore, follow a passion, and live a full life!  What we need to focus on instead is the abundance of love that the Universe provides.
Changing your mindset to a kind, loving one is going to take work every day.  The good news is that each time we practice loving ourselves we are actually changing our brains and biochemistry on a  cellular level and making the next loving thought easier to come by!

Each individual brings unique talents and gifts to the Universe. Write down all of your own special qualities and characteristics that make you who you are.  Realize that everyone has made mistakes in their lives and that’s OK.  Forgive yourself and give yourself credit for all the good things you have done in your life instead of focusing on the bumps in the road that we all face.  When you review the list of your special traits be sure to make an effort to feel gratitude for each of your own distinctive qualities.  Expressing this gratitude can lead to an elevated feeling of self confidence and a “can do” attitude that will allow you to get out and use your talents to follow your dreams.  Practice telling yourself you are worthy of having lofty dreams and making them come true!  If this is the energy vibe you are sending out then you are telling the Universe to deliver it back to you.

When worry or doubt creep into your mind, acknowledge the feeling then let it go.  Holding onto worry is useless.  Focusing instead on the desired result is effective.  Each time you appreciate your uniqueness you are sending your body and the Universe loving, positive energy. It starts with a conscious effort on your part.  You have to decide to love yourself and start generating positive vibes throughout your own body and the Universe.  Once you’ve made the choice and you start this practice each and every day, it will become a habit, it will become part of you, and the Universe you create for yourself.  A positive, loving Universe starts within you.  It starts with you loving yourself first.  Start loving yourself today and create a more loving world for all.

~Claire Affleck
Claire Affleck Training website
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A good morning hug from the universe

The morning light reaches through the trees and down across the fields
A good morning hug from the universe
That is just mine
The first peaceful rays of light on my face while the world is still quiet
I try not to make a sound so I won’t wake it
Everyone else is still sleeping, waking to the smell of coffee
Then showers and toast while glancing at the paper
Hurry out the door and rush down the road to the radio blaring
But in those first moments of the morning
When I am greeted by the sun with the birds calling out and the rabbits having breakfast
And the horses blink their sleepy eyes at me
I savor having the whole world all to myself
And it is glorious
And I am grateful

~Claire Affleck
Claire Affleck Training website
Email me

Riding lessons for life #11

Impulsion!
When you are jumping a horse it is especially important to have what riders call “impulsion,” or this kind of reserve energy or power in the hind end of the horse that will help thrust the pair of you over the obstacle.  Riders create impulsion by using their legs to activate the horse’s hind end and their hand to keep the energy back there.  It is so important to have this impulsion in order to safely make it over the obstacle but equally important not to rush the jump by simply going faster and running at it.  By hurrying a jump the horse is more likely to be careless and it is more likely you won’t clear the obstacle.

I think the same is true in life.  When we are faced with the obstacles in life it is important not to energize and run at them without first creating some impulsion.  When we see a problem ahead and become angered, anxious, or worried it often leads to us making brash decisions causing regret later.  When faced with an issue in life, we need to maintain the pace, take a breath and create impulsion.  What I mean by that is, we need to create a skill set for dealing with the bumps in the road.  Energize your support system!  That could mean calling a good friend or family  member that can help you over the obstacles in life, write down your thoughts and feelings, write down the positives and negatives of what actions to take,  visualize calmly approaching this issue and making it to the other side, start expressing gratitude for the opportunity to learn from this experience.  Armed with all of these skills (you have now energized and created impulsion without rushing!) you can clear any obstacle in your path.

Your assignment is to practice putting your skill set into action with small bumps in the road that occur on a daily basis (lots of traffic on the way to work, something gets spilled on your new shirt, etc.) so when bigger obstacles come your way, you will be ready to put your impulsion into action and clear the difficulty with no problem!

Claire Affleck
Claire Affleck Training website
Email me