Last week I had a very traumatizing experience. I had no internet for seven days. Can you imagine? Seven days – no email, no Google, no Facebook, no obsessively checking the weather for possible thunderstorms, no Wikipedia, no Mapquest… how did I survive? To add to this dilemma, on Friday I tragically lost my phone for about 4 hours. Luckily it was found but for about half the day, with no phone and no internet, I was completely disconnected from the entire outside world.

After the initial panic had come and gone, I actually felt an odd sense of peace. My phone wasn’t in my pocket ringing every ten minutes, I couldn’t run inside and check my email for the twelfth time that day, and it was actually kind of nice. Worst case scenario was that if someone wanted to get in touch with me they would have to come over and see me in person. I like the sound of that. Rather than associating someone with a ringtone or text message beep, I would get to speak with them face to face and spend some real quality time in direct contact with another human being. Not to knock modern technology because it has done wonders for communication, but there is something to be said for directly talking with someone. There is so much that goes unspoken with people’s expressions and body language that is missed while communicating with the shortest possible abbreviations via text messaging or even email.

What I learned from my week of disconnect was that I actually connected more, more directly and in more meaningful ways, with the people I care about. Next time you want to shoot your friends a quick, email, text or even phone call, think twice. Get in your car and drive over to their house instead. Disconnect and reconnect.

Claire Affleck
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“Letting go is one way of saying I love you.” ~ Unknown

Letting go is a hard life lesson, it’s much easier said than done. There are many things in life that we have to learn to let go of. Remember being a child and not being able to find your favorite stuffed animal or special blanket at bedtime? The thought of sleeping without something so special, something we were so attached to was devastating! But at some point we had to learn to let go of that attachment. A tough lesson, but somehow we survived it.  As we grow up the lesson doesn’t get easier to learn; we eventually have to learn to let go of situations, people and even ideas about ourselves and our path in life.

Forming loving attachments to people, ideas and things is easy to do. When we lose a person, a thing, or a life situation changes, it’s hard to let go of that strong attachment. The thought of no longer having that person or that same comfortable situation in life can cause a lot of pain, much like when were small and no longer had that special blanket to go to sleep with.  However, learning to let go is necessary because everything changes, as change is the nature of the Universe. We all change throughout life so it often becomes necessary to let go of relationships, so that each person can fulfill their own journey in life. We must learn to send loving thoughts to the people in our lives that we let go of so that we will again attract more love to ourselves and so that they may find love again as well. Holding on to resentment and pain blocks all of us from receiving more love from the Universe.

Letting go can be a challenge.  But when it’s time to let go of something (a thing, a friendship, a relationship, or a life situation), we must also let go of the  pain, resentment and negative thoughts, and continue to share love and positive energy so that as we continue on our life’s journey we can grow into an even more loving and positive individual.

Claire Affleck
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Riding and showing horses is considered to be an “individual sport”.  hat is, it’s you on your horse competing against other individuals on their horses. It’s not, for example, all the riders from Skaneateles versus all the riders from Syracuse. But despite being judged on an individual basis, showing is really a team effort on a couple different levels.

There is a lot that goes into getting that one horse and one rider into the ring. A horse show groom arrives before sun up and feeds the horses their hay, grain, water, and cleans the stalls. Riders arrive at day break to brush their horses and “school” them or practice in the show ring. Grooms and fellow riders help after the horse and rider have schooled by giving the horse a bath and cleaning the saddle and bridle. A barn manager, horse show mom, or otherwise organized person goes to the horse show office to make sure everyone is entered in their appropriate classes for that days competition. A braider is hired at horse shows to braid the horse’s mane and tail. The rider dresses in fine show clothes and polishes her boots. The horse’s hooves are also polished to a shine. Before show time, the horse’s clean tack is properly placed on him, and the rider makes sure she also looks the part. They have a few more minutes of practice with the help of a coach or trainer. Before entering the show arena friends scurry around rubbing the last bits of dust off the rider’s boots and wiping any slobber off the horse’s mouth. As the horse and rider enter the arena their bodies move as one. Picking up their pace, heading towards the first jump as if they are one creature, the horse lifting his body at the exact right moment, and they soar over landing in unison; horse and rider also working as a team.

When you show horses it’s not just the effort of the horse and rider in the arena competing, it’s the efforts of their vet, farrier, barn manager, trainer, groom, friends, and family. A total team effort! One of the joys of competing for me is the great feeling of success when one of my students does well in the ring. It’s a wonderful feeling when all the hard work that everyone has put in finally gets to shine through and makes us all smile.

Claire Affleck
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Claire Affleck
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The Half Halt:

After my own riding lesson I kept thinking about the letting go of the reins being the most important part of taking back on the reins.  This same idea relates to many situations in life as well.  My first thought was that in raising children, we raise them to think for themselves, become self sufficient and handle themselves in different situations.  When children become independent, productive members of society it’s because parents have often used a half halt; they have checked in, communicating what needed to be communicated and then let go, allowing the children to find their own rhythm in life.  We have to let go and allow individuals to find and maintain whatever life pace is good for them, we cannot control another person!  Like a horse whose rider never lets the rein contact go, people too will become annoyed and frustrated with constant control and no freedom.  This same idea applies to the workplace as well.  A boss cannot efficiently run a business if they are micromanaging.  An efficient employer will simply half halt.  They will lay down the basic outline of what needs to be done, and then allow the employees to go ahead and do it.

Half halting is important in life.  Sometimes we need to check in without losing momentum.  We are always going forward in life and it’s great to have people in our life that we can discuss things with and then be let go and allowed to change directions if necessary.  Remember when you take back on the reins in life, the most important thing you can do is let them go again.

Claire Affleck
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We can build our communities of love all around us, each day.  Our families are one loving community that we belong to.  Families love, comfort and support us unconditionally.  It is important to foster family bonds, but we often get so busy with our daily routines that we neglect to do this.  Take time out today to call or write a family member that you haven’t spoken to recently and let them know you are thinking of them and that you love them.  It’s guaranteed to bring a  smile to their face!   Plan a family dinner or family reunion to bring everyone together.

The community in which we live is another source of positive, loving energy in which we can surround ourselves with.  I am so grateful for the loving community that I live in.  I am more and more in awe of how amazing the people in my community are.  Going to the grocery store, the coffee shop, or the dry cleaners is always an enjoyable, positive experience here.  I am constantly greeted with a genuine smile and  upbeat conversation.   Just this week, in fact, I had an experience  that inspired this article.

At dinner at a local restaurant, I was in a room of 30 people from all over the world, from all walks of life, with various interests, various jobs, all brought together in this small community in which we live.  For hours at this dinner this diverse group just laughed, smiled, danced, and celebrated life, love and being with one another.  Not a harsh word or negative thought was shared all evening.  I was overwhelmed with how lucky I was to live here with such amazing, positive, loving people.  The people of the community in which I live felt as close to me as family.  Get out in your community, meet your neighbors, talk to the people at the post office, invite someone new out to dinner and get to know the people that live around you.

Another source of community for people can be their hobby.  Your special community could the people in your yoga class, book club, or running club for example.  For me the “barn people” were my extra special community.  Because of the shared love of horses we all shared a special bond.  We were as close as family and there to support one  another when we fell and when we took a trip down victory lane.

Again, I feel so incredibly grateful to have such a warm, loving, and supportive group of individuals that I am surrounded by each and every day.  Get involved with a group of people that share your special interest and connect with them! Every day we can be surrounded by a loving community.  We have to make the effort each day to foster loving, positive bonds with everyone around us.  When we do this we receive love, support and positive energy right back!

Claire Affleck
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Now I am working on focusing on ABUNDANCE in life.  Although my business is equipped to continue through the winter, things often slow down a bit when the weather gets cold and the snow begins to fly.  It becomes harder for people to travel in winter conditions, money becomes tight with the upcoming holidays, kids are busy with school and school related activities, and not to mention that it is pretty darn cold in the barn!  So the trick is for me to think of abundance of business throughout the winter and the entire year.  Each time I start to get that negative or nervous feeling in my gut about it I take a deep breath and tell myself, “Don’t think that I am “lacking” think  that I have an “abundance” and the Universe will deliver that to me.”

I practice envisioning more people signing up to take lessons, more horses in training, and more money in the bank.  I know I am putting the right ingredients together of hard work, a positive mental attitude and visualization so I know abundance will manifest.

Gratitude goes hand in hand with abundance.  It’s important to be grateful for the things I already have in order for more of the great things to come to me.  Any negative feeling about what I have will only prevent more things from coming my way.  I am grateful for the clients and the business I have and I know it will continue to grow and become even more amazing than it already is in the future.

So I am assigning myself new homework.  I am going to practice being grateful for what I have each and every day.  I am going to practice visualizing and thinking positively about creating an abundance of work for myself and in turn building my business.  Oh, AND I’m going to keep practicing taking Mondays off. 

Claire Affleck
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The journey to success begins with self-confidence.  You must first believe in your own mind that you can achieve your goal.  When you have doubts and insecurities you are telling yourself that you cannot accomplish your objective.  In other words, if you think you’re going to fail, you will.  When you exude doubtfulness other people also pick up on that.  When you behave like a confident person, however, others get excited about your aspirations and want to become a part of your success.  Other people will not go out of their way to help someone reach a goal if the individual doesn’t even believe they can reach it!  But, when exude confidence, passion, and positive energy others will latch onto that and doors will open for you!   

There are some simple ways of improving your self-confidence if you are lacking.  Visualizing your success is key.  Successful people envision reaching their goals, not failing!   Make a vision board of everything you’d like to accomplish this month, this year, or in your life time.  Make sure your vision is in a place where you can see it on a daily basis.  You can also write down a list of all of your positive attributes and accomplishments and read them out loud to yourself every day.  You will be training your brain to believe in these positive attributes, and therefore in yourself.  Take pride in your accomplishments.  Once you start to believe in yourself mentally, it’s time to start acting like a confident person!  Acting confident around others make take some practice.  Even if you are nervous, fake it!  Breathe deeply and SMILE.  Smiling will relax you and others will respond positively to you.  By faking it, you are actually training your brain to relax in challenging situations and eventually you will be smiling, relaxed and confident in all situations!

Improving your self-confidence will help you in your journey to success.  It starts with you.  You must believe in you!  Once you believe in yourself, others will be attracted to that confidence, and they will believe in you, too.  When you have a great team of supports behind you, you can do anything!  Amazing things will happen, you will meet people that can help you along the way, give you wonderful opportunities and celebrate all the little successes along the way.

Go out in the world with confidence today!

Claire Affleck
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Follow Your Passion in Life – Equestrian Women Entrepreneur

Claire Affleck, owner of Claire Affleck Training,  found a calling in life, at a very young age, “horses.”

“I loved horses my whole life. Since I was really little, I envisioned myself having my own equestrian barn. I knew that one day, I would own an equestrian center. My love of horses consumed me.”

Showing horses, at age nine, Claire was convinced she would one day live out a dream. One word to describe Claire, is motivated. She feels success is due to surrounding herself with a great support structure.

Claire shares a success tip for women, “If you are going to do something as a business, it has to be your passion.”

After graduating college, Claire ventured to Wellington, FL, to show horses. Today, she owns a horse farm in Skaneateles, New York, which provides lessons, training and Claires competes horses. Claire Affleck Training offers specialized training, teaches children and adults, and has a string of horses to compete.

Claire Affleck has a heart of gold and is donating her time and horses at www.pinkcowbingo.com

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Afterward, I realized that most things in life should be approached like learning to ride.  Reaching lofty goals, like learning to ride a horse, require a long journey to accomplish it.  It’s like Malcolm Gladwell’s rule of 10,000 hours.  The world’s most successful individuals, like The Beatles, Bill Gates, and world class athletes, did not become great by happenstance, or by taking a shortcuts, or by tricking anyone.  They logged in over 10,000 hours of practice, practice, practice before “catching their big break.”

I am not telling you this to scare you off from accomplishing your goals; 10,000 hours does seem a bit daunting, doesn’t it?  I am telling you this so you can be excited about accomplishing your goals! It can be done! You already have the passion for it or you wouldn’t be pursuing this goal in the first place, now you just have to remain positive and persistent and you WILL reach your goal!

Maintaining a positive outlook is key.  The journey is long, but it is meant to be enjoyed!  Take pleasure in the process, in each step along the way and be happy that there are no shortcuts.  Whether you are going to back to school to get a degree, building a new home, or pursuing an athletic goal, relish in each triumph along the way.  All of the tiny steps along the way do add up!

Enjoy the long journey in life.  Your big dreams WILL come true when you keep a positive mental outlook and practice, practice, practice!

Claire Affleck
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