Surrender To That Inner Voice

I had been feeling a bit blue and alone, so I thought I’d treat myself to something I wanted.  I went to the grocery store to pick up some items I needed to make some chili bean soup. I had a hankering for it and felt like I’d treat myself to something I wanted. I could almost taste the soup.  I had the beans the onions, the ground beef, my mouth was watering.

Then out of nowhere a thought of my sister came to mind. We had spoken via email just the day before. She told me that she and my 13-month-old nephew had been battling a virus all week and feeling pretty tired. As I thought of this, I  thought that I should bring something over for dinner.  She loves my Mexican meatball soup (Albondigas), but I wanted Chili soup, and so the battle within began. I already had everything for the bean soup and I didn’t have my recipe for the albondigas soup. I struggled  trying to run away from that little voice, but it was in every aisle!

I brought the cart I was pushing to a halt, and surrendered. See, I struggle so with being selfish, but God blesses me with so many opportunities to be rid of it, and this was one. Read more

The Biology of Leadership

“We must be silent before we can listen. We must listen before we can learn. We must learn before we can prepare. We must prepare before we can serve. We must serve before we can lead.” -William Arthur Ward

The Biology of Leadership:
“The salient discovery is that certain things leaders do — specifically, exhibit empathy and become attuned to others’ moods — literally affect both their own brain chemistry and that of their followers. Indeed, researchers have found that the leader-follower dynamic is not a case of two (or more) independent brains reacting consciously or unconsciously to each other. Rather, the individual minds become, in a sense, fused into a single system. We believe that great leaders are those whose behavior powerfully leverages the system of brain interconnectedness.” This Harvard Business Review article discusses brain studies that show leaders can improve group performance by understanding the biology of empathy. [Read more]

Be The Change:
Read this thought-provoking passage by Daniel Goleman titled, “Attunement: An Agendaless Presence”  excerpt below:

Attunement is attention that goes beyond momentary empathy to a full sustained presence that facilitates rapport. We offer a person our total attention and listen fully. We seek to understand the other person rather than just making our own point.

Such deep listening seems to be a natural aptitude. Still, as with all social intelligence dimensions, people can improve their attunement skills. And we can all facilitate attunement simply by intentionally paying more attention.

A person’s style of speaking offers clues to their underlying ability to listen deeply. During moments of genuine connection, what we say will be responsive to what the other feels, says, and does. When we are poorly connected, however, our communications become verbal bullets: our message does not change to fit the other person’s state but simply reflects our own. Listening makes the difference.

[Read more]

Considering Others

Every thought we think and every action we take has an effect on the world around us. To be aware of this is to be conscious of our impact on the people in our lives. Sometimes we just want to do what we want to do, but considering the full ramifications of our actions can be an important part of our spiritual growth and awareness. At first, being more conscious requires effort, but once we have made it a habit, it becomes second nature. The more we practice this awareness of others, the more we find ourselves in easy alignment with our integrity.

Our thoughts are an important place to begin this practice because our thoughts are the seeds of our actions. It is not necessary or beneficial to obsessively monitor all our thoughts, but we can perhaps choose one thought or action per day and simply notice if we are in alignment with this experience of integrity. For example, we may find ourselves replaying a negative encounter with someone in our minds. Read more

An experiment in gratitude

Sometimes we forget to take the time to recognize the richness that defines our lives. This may be because many of the messages we encounter as we go about our affairs prompt us to think about what we don’t have rather than all the abundance we do enjoy. Consequently, our gratitude exists in perpetual conflict with our desire for more, whether we crave time, convenience, wealth, or enlightenment. Yet understanding and truly appreciating our blessings can be as simple as walking a mile in another’s shoes for a short period of time. Because many of us lead comparatively insular lives, we may not comprehend the full scope of our prosperity that is relative to our sisters and brothers in humanity.

If you find taking an inventory of your life’s blessings difficult, consider the ease with which you nourish your body and mind, feed your family, move from place to place, and attend to tasks at hand. For a great number of people, activities you may take for granted, such as attaining an education, buying healthy food, commuting to work, or keeping a clean house, represent great challenges. To experience firsthand the complex tests others face as a matter of course in their daily lives, try living without the amenities you most often take for granted. This can be a great experiment to undertake with your entire family or a classroom. Read more

Handmade hugs

~From HelpOthers.org posted by Shannanigans on Feb 22, 2009

I work in a casino and deal with customers everyday. Unfortunately the majority of the time that means dealing with negativity as people are losing money and not generally happy.

Well last night I was working the grave shift and stopped to give change to a customer. He said I looked like I needed a hug. I just smiled.  He opened up his jacket and pulled out a ziplock bag. Inside were a bunch of “hugs.” They were the word “hug” carved out of wood and attached to a pin. He had obviously made them himself. He handed me one as well as a card that goes with it (talking about the benefit of hugs and the low, low cost).

He made my day and I attached the hug to my ID badge so I could be reminded of how good a hug feels, especially when you least expect it.

Afraid of opening your heart?

It is not easy to have an open heart in a world that offers us a full plate of experiences. This life gives us much joy, love, and light, but it also shows us a fair amount of pain, sadness, and suffering. When our hearts are open, we take everything into ourselves, and we are deeply affected by what we see. We do not hold ourselves separate from the pain of others. In addition, our own personal disappointments may begin to take their toll. We may feel small, alone, and overwhelmed. Most of us may feel like we are not up to the task of living with our hearts open, and we might begin to close down, little by little, so that we can get through our days without having to feel too much. Read more

Denise Kelly’s classroom intention – week #9

Below is Week 9 of my 2nd grade classroom’s Weekly Intention. We sometimes base it on one of Dr. Kiltz’s Intentions and other times create our own. Visit my Bio to read about how we began the Classroom Intention.

Kindness and Empathy Read more

A table for three

My fiancee and I decided today was the day to finally treat ourselves to a nice dinner. It started off as ‘our’ day’ but little did we know that it would turn into much more. I didn’t want the whole day to be about yearning to leave the office for the upcoming dinner and I didn’t want the dinner to be just another romantic night for two … So, I felt compelled to turn up the notch of giving that day and see what that could do. Read more