Riding Lessons for Life #20

Inner Calmness:
While I was training in Wellington, Florida a few weeks ago my trainer really had me focus on inner calmness.  He really had me focus maintaining inner calmness while riding, and especially while jumping. If we get excited or nervous that translates directly to the horse and they will become nervous and excited.  If we maintain our own calmness the horse will remain relaxed as well.

As a rider I’ve known the importance of staying relaxed on a horse for a long time.  What I had to work on specifically was staying totally calm as I started jumping bigger and bigger jumps.  I am a competent rider up to a certain level, but the great thing about riding is that you never stop learning and my trainer is pushing me to higher and higher levels.  I need to jump a 4’6” jump just as calmly as I do a 3’ jump.  My trainer said my job as a rider is to present the jump calmly to the horse and then it’s his job to carry us to the other side.  Again, if I get nervous or excited right in front of the jump then the horse will associate that nervous energy with the jump; when really the goal is to have the horse remain relaxed to the jump, over the jump, and landing from the jump.

In life, we are faced with obstacles both big and small.  I think the trick is to deal with the big obstacles in life just as we deal with the little ones.  Once we can positively and calmly get through the small bumps in the road we are ready to face bigger bumps with the same inner calmness.  Getting nervous will only attract negative energy to the situation.  Remaining calm and trusting the universe will allow the universe to carry us over to the other side of the situation. Maintaining inner calmness when facing obstacles in life is key to successfully clearing them and getting to the other side.

–
Claire Affleck
Claire Affleck Training website
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Wellington 2010

Wellington, Florida is this very small, random, nothing of a town just outside West Palm Beach. Over the past thirty years, however, it has been transformed in the Mecca of horse shows. From January until April its horse show after horse show, week in and week out. Thousands of riders and horses flock to this tiny town for the Winter Equestrian Festival from literally every state around the country and every continent around the world. Olympic riders face off in Grand Prixs every weekend in the International Ring and six year old girls trot their ponies happily around the Pony Ring. Bridle paths along the canals link all the local stables to the massive show grounds. Police escorts are placed at all local intersections to allow horses and riders the right of way when crossing the streets. Strip malls are comprised solely of tack and feed stores. Banners hang on light posts in town advertising the weekend’s upcoming Grand Prix or Polo Match. Basically its Disney World for horse people.

When I had the opportunity to ride and show at the Winter Equestrian Festival this winter I jumped at the chance! Last Saturday I flew out of snowy Syracuse bright and early in the morning. I arrived in West Palm Beach at 12:30pm, was picked up in a brand new Bentley, and driven directly to the barn. By 1:30 I was in my boots and breeches and on a horse. After riding at the barn I was escorted to the horse show. What a beautiful sight the show grounds are. Impeccable landscaping with palm trees dotting the paths between show arenas, beautiful white footing in the rings, and each horse that walks past you is more stunning than the next. It’s completely overwhelming and too much to take in at once. Not to mention how hard it is to comprehend the vast scale of the show grounds. There are about 15 show rings going on at once, all day, every day, with 30-100+ entries per class. The arrangement for stabling is also amazing. There are hundreds of horses stabled in tents but there are also permanent barns located right on the show grounds themselves. It is truly breath taking.

The following day, Sunday, I rode three horses in lessons at the barn before heading over the show. As I was cooling out one of the horses the warm sun shone down brightly against my pale skin, a lazy breeze picked up and tickled the brilliant green palms, the sky was an intense blue, the soft sand footing a bright white, and as I closed my eyes I could hear the sounds of a polo match taking place across the street. I took a deep breath and soaked up each beautiful sensation.

Monday is Sunday to horse people. With the horse shows running from Tuesday through Sunday, Monday becomes the day of rest in Wellington. But on Tuesday morning we were right back at it. I went to the show and rode the horse I would be showing later that week. On Wednesday we were rained out of showing but later in the day we were still able to get the horses out and ridden. Everyone was able to show on Thursday and Friday. I showed a horse in the Jumper Division, which means that I have to negotiate a very challenging course of about 14-16 jumps with tight turns and jumps at odd angles, and am penalized or knocking any rails down or being slower than the time allowed. It’s a race against the clock but at the same time you have be very careful and accurate at the jumps. I am more than happy to report that I came home with three blue ribbons!

Later in the day on Friday we took some of the horses that didn’t show that day out on a trail ride along the canals. Well that was certainly exciting.  We saw an alligator alongside the canal and just then a few of the horses, including the one I was on, decided they wanted to be playful and fractious.  Oh great, I thought, I’m not only going to fall off, but I’m also going to be eaten by an alligator when I do!  Luckily, everyone managed to get their horses under control and back to the schooling ring without so much as an alligator bite!

On my last full day, Saturday, I woke early and went to the show to let some of the horses that would be showing later that morning stretch their legs.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. I LOVE horse show mornings.  Being with the horses as the sun rises in the cool morning air with promise of blue ribbons is magical. We had a very successful horse show day and I was even able to meet and ride with a few Grand Prix riders.

All in all, my experience in Wellington was inspirational. Each new challenge and possibility I’m exposed to tightens my hold to my dream and the more determined I become. Spending the winter in Wellington with my own horses is in my five year plan!

–
Claire Affleck
Claire Affleck Training website
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The Warmth of Friendship

Every year at about this time I seriously begin to question why I don’t pack up and move to a tropical island. Just how exactly did I survive last winter? And how on earth am I going to live through the rest of this one?

A winter day for me begins hours before the sun even thinks about peeking up over the horizon and involves copious amounts of coffee. Before I head out the door I do a check of the weather. Is it going to be a ten layer of clothes day or just a seven layer day? I start the layering procedure with long johns (top and bottom), heavy duty socks, jeans, shirt, sweater, vest, coat, Carhartt overalls, insulated boots, hat, gloves, and those little hand warmers in the gloves and in the boots. Now I’m ready for an Arctic expedition AND feeding horses.

I start by throwing hay to the horses. And all over myself. Then I give them their grain, which is usually frozen in the bins. Nothing like hammering away at frozen grain at 5am with a barn full of hungry horses making a ruckus because I’m taking too long. Then I water all the horses. This process usually involves dumping at least one dirty bucket down my pant leg, oh, and water sprays from the hose and droplets of water freeze to my glasses.

Then I clean stalls. I really love when the bags of fresh pine shavings are frozen and I have to use a metal rake to chop it up, which makes me sweat, which causes me to become chilled (or should I say even MORE chilled than I already was?). This is when I make a dash for the heated tack room to attempt to thaw out my finger tips. In the warmth of the tack room I find my “barn” cats. More like tack room cats. I cast a scornful look at them; all warm and snuggly.

This is pretty much the morning routine from about mid November to April. What gets me through? Well, besides wine, I’d have to honestly say it’s my friends.  My ever positive friends.  Whenever I call them to vent about my adventures in the cold barn they make me laugh, usually they’re laughing AT me, but it makes me laugh nonetheless. I try to express my gratitude each and every day for my warm, loving friends that keep my spirits up, my mind motivated, and my body moving all winter long.  Not even the bitter cold winters of Central New York can cool the warmth of friendships!

–
Claire Affleck
Claire Affleck Training website
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Lessons from the Universe

I like to think that generally I’m a pretty positive person. I’m happy, I enjoy life, I do what I love every day, and I surround myself with loving, kind, and supportive people. Well last weekend took me to the limits of Positive Town.

Last Saturday it was a balmy negative ten degrees here in the town of Sennett with a strong westerly breeze. But despite the cold I was feeling pretty good about life because on Wednesday I sold my horse, Labatt, and the folks were on their way to pick him up. I was sad to see Labatt go but the woman buying him was a great person and I knew He’d have a wonderful new home.

So they pull in to the driveway at noon. For the first hour I was pretty kind and patient while trying to coax Labatt to step up onto the ramp and onto the trailer. He never did get on but he did eat a whole scoop of grain, a five pound bag of carrots, a packet of peppermints, and a box of horse cookies while his hooves remained firmly planted just outside the horse trailer. For the next hour I tried several other tricks of the trade trying to convince Labatt that the trailer was not a horse eating monster. Now I was starting to get REALLY cold and REALLY frustrated. I was now beginning to think that I wasn’t going to be so sad to see him leave. I just wanted him to get on the trailer! I finally had to use a life line. I phoned a friend. Rick.

He was in the middle of watching the SU game and lives 45 minutes away but he was there in half an hour.  Thank you universe! Rick tried a few of the same things I tried and still no luck. Rick took the lead line at Labatt’s head and I stood behind Labatt, pushing at his rump to prompt him forward.  Well that didn’t work either. Labatt fired back with his hind legs and kicked my arm. Now I was frozen and in a lot of pain. And Labatt stood quietly in the barn isle, nowhere near the horse trailer. Blasted universe! It had now been over an hour since Rick had arrived and we were both at the end of our lines. Finally Rick looked at me as I felt tears starting to burn my eyes and said, “Let’s try blindfolding him.?” I merely nodded because I thought if I spoke my voice would crack and I’d burst into tears.

Rick tied his winter coat over Labatt’s head. I took the line and told him, “You just have trust me, buddy. Follow my voice.?” I chatted with the horse and he walked right onto the trailer. Three and a half hours later. His new owners thanked me and left, Rick hopped in his car and left, and I stood there alone in the cold barn with a bruised arm and a broken heart and sobbed. I went to bed that night determined that Sunday would be a better day.

When I got up I headed down to the barn and got to work. Well the day started with my tractor breaking. That afternoon I had some people coming in from out of town to look at another horse that’s for sale so I got the horse all cleaned up and cleaned my saddle and bridle. And they never came and never called me. Yet I was still determined to remain in
a positive mindset. A dear friend had invited me over for dinner that night. Perfect, I’ll just get to eat and relax and be warm and cozy! I climb into my truck to head over there and what happens? Well let me tell you. My driver’s side windshield wiper falls off of my truck. I mean, really universe, was that necessary?

So I guess the only thing to do about this mess of a weekend was to learn from it, right? So here’s how I’m going to look at what happened and what I’ve learned:

1. Good friends are more than just good friends when they’ll help you even when SU is playing (and winning).
2. Express gratitude for the fact that I even have a tractor, broken or otherwise.
3. That the horse and my saddle and bridle needed to be cleaned anyway, so   that wasn’t a waste of time.
4. Getting kicked by my horse didn’t hurt nearly as much as saying goodbye to him.
5. We are often blindfolded in life and don’t know where we’re going but there’s usually some voice that we trust and follow anyway.
6. Sometimes your windshield wiper just falls off your truck for no apparent reason and the only logical thing to do at that point is to laugh.

Claire Affleck
Claire Affleck Training website
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Life: DIY

Do It Yourself. I’m not talking about assembling something from
Lowe’s. I’m talking about life. Your life is yours to assemble as
you like; you and you alone can do it. You think it, you create it,
you do it yourself.  No one else can make things happen for you, think
for you, or create you.  Oh sure it seems like a big responsibility to
be accountable for all of your thoughts and actions in life, but it’s
also creative, fun, and satisfying.

If you sit around blaming and waiting for others to do the thinking,
the creating, and the work for you, well you’ll be sitting around
waiting your whole life to experience life. YOU CREATE YOUR LIFE.
Every year, every day, every moment is YOURS! Your universe is for you
to enjoy by creating the most positive, loving, and amazing life you
can. To blame someone else for your failures or to expect someone
else to bring you to a level of success is to miss the point entirely.

Relying on others to create our universe, positive or negative, is
senseless. Other people are busy creating their own lives, not yours.
And that’s the fun part. You get to be in charge of the universe.
Make it all your own. Think only positive thoughts. Create your
life, your dreams, your home, your job, your car, your friends, your
family in whatever way you want. Your thoughts will manifest
themselves in reality, YOUR reality! And it’s all up to you. You get
to do it yourself.

Let’s not wait! Get going on this life project. Start thinking, start
creating, start doing today!

Claire Affleck
Claire Affleck Training website
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Good Things Come in Small Packages

I’d like to share an inspiring story with all of you.  One of my young lesson students came up to her lesson this week, on Tuesday, with a form to sell Girl Scout Cookies.  She had mentioned last week that she was selling them and I told her to bring up the form so that I could order some.  A few other people happened to be at the barn and they also ordered some (I mean honestly who can resist Girl Scout Cookies?!?!)

The next morning I received an email from the girl’s mother.  She told me that Monday night the young girl had been worried that she wouldn’t reach her goal of selling 300 boxes because at this point she only had 264 and the cut off was Sunday.  With less than a week left 300 seemed pretty far off from the 264 that she had.  So the family sat down and came up with a game plan.  They brainstormed on who else she could ask.   They decided that they would call some of the mother’s work colleagues, bring the form to the barn the following day and see where they were.  In the meantime my young student was going to visualize and focus on her goal of 300 boxes.  (I should also mention here that my student, at the age of 7, was making all of the calls herself and doing all of the asking and selling of the cookies. Mom only helped with filling out the forms.) So, the email from the mother continued on, after all the worry, then the planning, the visualizing, the focusing, the asking, they tallied up the number of boxes when they got home from the barn. 301.

So now I beg the question; if a young seven year old girl has this much power over her universe, imagine what we all can do? What a great lesson to learn at such a young age!  When we focus on our goals, visualize the outcome, and ask the universe to deliver it does!

Claire Affleck
Claire Affleck Training website
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Growing Pains of the Heart

Heartache and heart break.  Most of us view these as negatives.  The trick is, of course, to see the positive side.
A quote from Rita Mae Brown helped me to see the positive side of feeling sorrow, anger, grief, and heart break.  She stated that, “Sorrow is how we learn to love. Your heart isn’t breaking. It hurts because it’s getting larger.  The larger it gets the more love it holds.”

Instead of feeling as though your heart is breaking, think of it as growing, stretching, and becoming more loving.  When you are filled to the brink with sadness, at your lowest low, think of your highest high and of your heart bursting with joy.  If you can feel immense sadness, then you can also feel the opposite; immense happiness.  And you will reach that point of joy again, one step at a time.

The first step to attaining that state of blissfulness is to let your aching heart love. Read more

Happiness- Do you want fries with that?

In today’s modern society we can get most everything in an instant. Fast food.  Fast cars.  Instant messages.  Emails.  Text messages.  Online ordering.  Instant gratification.  One would think that with everything being right at our finger tips that we would be happy with all of this instant gratification.  Why then are so many people unhappy?

While many of our needs, wants, and desires can be taken care of instantly many more cannot and this is where many people become restless and unhappy.  Success in any aspect of life does not happen instantly.  No body, no matter what the tabloids say, literally becomes successful or famous or rich over night.  Successful people work hard, are determined, and often, according to Malcolm Gladwell, put in over 10,000 hours of practice before making it big.  If Jack Canfield had wanted instant success he never would have gotten the “Chicken Soup for the Soul” books published. He would have given up because over 100 publishers turned him down before any one told him yes.  Read more

Questions on a Cold Winter Night

Bitter wind races across the frozen ground
Like the thoughts speeding through my mind
Twisting, turning, tossing
We live inside our own heads
Wish I could open mine up to see
Yearning to figure it all out!
And then
The sun on the horizon delivers
Illumination and warmth to chase the cold uncertainty away
No mystery, no questions, nothing left to figure out
No cause for worry
It’s already here
The answer is in your smile, a kind word, a child’s laughter, a bird’s song, a dance, a hug, LOVE.

~~~
Claire Affleck
Claire Affleck Training website
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Acknowledging All Feelings

Our emotions can often be overwhelming.  Although we may try to maintain positive thoughts all the time, we are human and are therefore prone to a wide range of emotions and feelings.  When we feel positive emotions like love, happiness, and gratitude the world seems at peace.  What do we do when we feel more negative emotions like anger, frustration and sadness?  Suppressing or ignoring those negative emotions is not going to make them go away.  Although it may be more difficult than acknowledging a positive feeling, acknowledging ALL of our emotions is exactly what we should do.

The first step of this process is to identify your feeling or emotion.  Being present in the moment and being aware of what your mind and body are telling you is key here.  Sometimes identifying an emotion can be tricky.  For example, your initial reaction to a situation may have been anger but you are really feeling more hurt than angry.  Taking a quiet moment to reflect on exactly what you are feeling and to identify it is the first step. Read more