Busting the Myth that Self-Care is Selfish: 10-Week Self-Care Challenge, Week # 7

Now that you have just spent a week being quiet in meditation I am going to ask you to add play to your day. Yes, I did say play! When was the last time you set an intention to simply play?

I opened the window here in Central NY yesterday and I could smell springtime. Here we always smell Spring long before it actually arrives. The air warms enough during the day to thaw the ground so the earth gives off this luxurious smell. It smells like a mixture between a clean laundry hung outdoors, and worms. Sorry, it is the only way I can describe it, but it takes me straight back to my childhood.

Strong Spring winds are perfect for kites. Have you ever held a kite string and felt it tug at your heart? It can take you into a magical state that allows joy to wash over you. As the wind whips and spins your kite a huge smile arises out of nowhere. The tail looks like it is dancing. It really is fun. Try it! Week 1, Week 2, Week 3, Week 4, Week 5, Week 6

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” ~ George Bernard Shaw

Exercise Week Seven:

PLAY!  Just play at least a little bit each day. It can be anything at all that you can imagine would be fun. Some people (me included) like board games and cards. Others might bike or fly a kite. Read more

Busting the Myth that Self-Care is Selfish: 10-Week Self-Care Challenge, Week # 6

I want to congratulate you for taking such good care of YOU. Although at this point you may only be reading about self-care. Even if you are not doing the exercises my intention is that you will be gaining insights into what is possible. For those who have not only read but applied the exercises I would love to hear from you. What has been your experience so far? Has anything shifted for you? Are you able to see how little time it actually does take to focus attention on your needs? Does it easily allow you to reap major benefits? Tell us about your experience in the comment section of this blog. Previous challenges: Week 1, Week 2, Week 3, Week 4, Week 5

I want to turn our focus to week six as I tell you about my new experience with meditation. If you have been with me for a long time you know that I have written about meditation before and confessed to struggle with it. That is until a few weeks ago when I learned Transcendental Meditation. It is a truly a passion of mine now. I feel like I did 30 years ago when I quit smoking. At that time, I told everyone I came into contact with how great I felt because I was not smoking anymore. Now I am telling them how great I feel because I have finally learned to meditate in a way that is joyful for me.

“The Transcendental Meditation technique has been shown to be the most effective health and wellness program there is. Nothing we know of is as effective for promoting good health and reducing health-care utilization and medical expenses.” ~ Kulrett Chaudry M.D. Neurologist

Exercise Week Six:

Meditation as a self-care practice: Spend a little time checking out meditation if you don’t already practice it. Read more

Busting the Myth that Self-Care is Selfish: 10-Week Self-Care Challenge, Week # 5

“I thought I knew all I needed to know about self-care yet following this challenge has been an inspiration to do ‘more’ for myself. I loved my mid-day bath, dancing in the kitchen and going on my ‘Self’ date. Reading this each week has given me permission to do more of what I love.” This is what I heard from a woman moments ago about the 10-week self-care challenge. Where are you on this journey? I often hear, “I would love to do it but I simply don’t have the time. I am running from sunrise to sunset.” The truth is if you are too busy for a little self-care then you probably need it the most! Start today and do not let anything stop you. You are worth it! Previous challenges: Week 1, Week 2, Week 3, Week 4

This week I want to talk to you about the power of nature. Most people when given a chance to go outside find they are drawn to certain things in nature. Some people love trees and could spend all day sitting under one like Buddha did. Others find riding horse back over a field at death defining speeds is a pure delight that makes them feel alive. Two completely different experiences yet they are both connecting with nature.

Being in nature is something I need to do every day to feel at peace. If life starts getting over the top with daily pressure I go outside. If I only have a minute I still go out. When that is not possible I will open a window and let the outside in. Hearing a bird call or feeling the breeze puts an instant smile on my face. If I am working through what feels like an unsolvable problem I will put on my sneakers or hiking boots and go for a walk. I find answers to my most pressing questions in nature.

“I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.” ~ John Muir, 1913

Exercise Week Five:

Simply go outside and STOP. Listen to the whisper from the wind. What do you hear, see or smell? What do you feel drawn to do? This week go outside as much as possible. You can go walking on the beach or visit the zoo. Read more

Busting the Myth that Self-Care is Selfish: 10-Week Self-Care Challenge, Week # 4

I hope you danced! I had a three way dance myself starting with my granddaughter, Athena, who is 4-years-old.  We were dancing, laughing and having a great time in the kitchen after lunch when Gretchen, my large standard poodle decided to join us. Have you ever danced with a hyper poodle with long toenails? It wasn’t pretty but it did make us laugh!!

Leaving the dance floor (for now) I want to offer a few words about why we are engaging in this self-care challenge. Often life gets so busy and stressed that women forget about themselves. When I ask women what they really need, it come down to feeling stronger about ‘who’ they are, in other words, having more self esteem and confidence.  I believe the corner stone to building a powerful and sustaining ‘Self’ starts with really good self-care.  Your joy and needs are easier to access when you are giving yourself permission to get in touch with your authentic ‘Self’.

Now in week four we are going to do just that. Tap into your joy and what nurtures you. The way you will accomplish this is by going on a ‘Self’ date. How many times have you gone out with someone either on a romantic date or just lunch with the girls, when you wished that you had chosen a different movie, a better restaurant or a different activity all together?  It started with them asking “what do you want to do?” and ended with doing what they wanted to do. No worries on a ‘self’ date you get to do exactly what you want because you are in charge and “NO” you cannot bring a friend. If you cannot decide what you want then you may want to hire a coach or other professional to help you tap into that part of yourself.

The most powerful thing I did many years ago (immediately after my mom’s funeral which was only one month after my husband and I separated) was to take myself on a weekend vacation. Read more

Busting the Myth that Self-Care is Selfish: 10-Week Self-Care Challenge, Week # 3

Today begins week three and by now I hope you are feeling some positive benefits of self-care. I know when I am practicing good self-care I feel more connected to all of life and deeply energized. What are you noticing?

How was your water experience? Did you try anything new? I learned a great deal about loving water from Margot Datz in her book A Survival Guide for a Landlocked Mermaid. Last March I did a blog interview with her - read about her self-discovery after her 20 year marriage ended in divorce on my blog. She painted mermaids that were an expression of how she felt. Her work is outstanding and extremely insightful.

As we turn our attention to week three I want to invite you to go back in your memory—all the way back to your crib to the age where you could just barely stand with the help of the side bars. Now your mother or dad puts on a song that is really rockin’-.DID YOU DANCE? Come on, admit it! Your knees were bouncing up and down as your bum rocked side to side. It came naturally!!!

How long has it been since you danced in that way?

Exercise week 3:
Put on some music and dance. It is scientifically proven to relieve stress and I have heard it reduces age lines. Okay, maybe not the age lines but it sure feels good! This week dance every day. It does not take long. Put on a song and dance in the kitchen with the dog while you fix dinner or go out to a night club. It is your choice but just dance. Read more

10-Week Self-Care Challenge: Week # 2

Please read week one before you read this post. Click here to see week one.

We made it to week two in what felt like record time. How was your experience of gratitude? Did you come up with 70 things or more to be grateful for? In case you are thinking that you are now done you might want to reconsider when you read what a psychology professor at University of California, Davis (editor-in-chief of The Journal of Positive Psychology) had to say about the results of several studies conducted with over 2,000 people.

“The benefits from counting blessings are tangible, emotionally and physically,” he said. “People are 25 percent happier and more energetic if they keep gratitude journals, have 20 percent less envy and resentment, sleep 10 percent longer each night and wake up 15 percent more refreshed, exercise 33 percent more and show a 10 percent drop in blood pressure compared to persons who are not keeping these journals.” I vote to keep going but of course it is up to you.

With our hearts full of gratitude we will now turn to week number two. This week the word is water. We all know the benefits of drinking plenty of water for our health but today we are talking about the benefits of putting our bodies into the water.

When I attended retreat coach training in Colorado a few years ago I had the great pleasure of learning about and experiencing watsu. Anyone know what that is? It is a type of underwater massage. I have never experienced anything like it.  Here is an excerpt of what I wrote about it in a previous blog post.

“I was instantly struck by her deep kind eyes. All of my fear of water just melted away and I knew I would be in capable hands. She took my head in her hands and tested my body to see how well I floated on my own. Rather like a rock. So she put floats on my legs to assist her in keeping me above water as she guided my moves of floating and being led into what I can only describe as a stretching water dance!” You can read the entire blog post here. http://retreatcoach.typepad.com/retreatcoach/2007/04/below_is_the_po.html

Watch the youtube video  below, Introduction to Watsu by Harold Dull, for the full effect.

“It is never too late to become the person you want to be.” ~George Eliot

Exercise week two:
This week we explore how being in water is both physically and emotionally healing. You can do this in any way that is available to you. The ocean is ideal, your own hot tub can free you from worries or at the very least take a Read more

Busting the Myth that Self-Care is Selfish: 10-Week Self-Care Challenge

Join me, Coach Judith, every Saturday for the next ten weeks. I will post a new challenge each week and at the end of that time we will look back and see if any of us still believe self-care is selfish. Let’s bust that old myth once and for all.

Remember when your mother said things like, “You need to play nice and not be selfish.” You heard this or more…over…and over…and over. Many factors growing up, from religion to sibling rivalry, made up who you are today. Unfortunately for some of us, we have developed a huge bucket of guilt whenever we even think we would like to do something wonderful for ourselves. Not because we deserve it, but just because we want to. Wow, I don’t know about you but that sounds like freedom to me. Do you want freedom? Do you want to treat yourself with care and respect? If yes, then please join me on my 10–week journey. It will open up your world to new adventures and it might even send that guilt packing. Now wouldn’t that be nice?

Our first week’s adventure begins today with a very simple exercise. For the next week, if you are willing to take on the self-care challenge, we are going to explore gratitude and what being grateful, on a very deep level, will do to prepare you for the bigger self-care challenges ahead.

Exercise Week One:

Spend 5-10 minutes each day writing down what you are grateful for. Read more

5 Step Action Guide to Shine Your Light in 2010

My New Year’s Gift to You! 5-Step Action Guide to Shine Your Light in 2010:
Have you ever wondered why it seems so easy for some people to make major changes in their life while others sit back as passive observers wondering what happened? They begin to wonder where their life went wrong. They say things such as, “Why are bad things always happening to me?”  Or, “Doesn’t anybody care how I feel?” If this sounds like you then perhaps it is time to start driving your own bus and stop being a passenger in life.

Taking action is the first step to living an empowered life and who doesn’t want that? If you are thinking yes, I want to do that, but I don’t know where to begin…then you simply start at the beginning.  With this action guide, you will journal your answers to coaching questions as you begin your journey into a life you love. Many of my clients say they start finding their authentic self through this process. It gives them the clarity to not only take action but to achieve their desired results very quickly. These words from Mary Oliver have rung through my mind since first hearing them many years ago.  “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”  Today I invite you to let these same words whisper through your mind as you explore the action steps.  My intention is that these simple words inspire you to look at your life in a new way, then be motivated to take the inspired action needed to put one foot in front of the other as you begin your journey. Don’t forget to fasten your seat belt because it will be a wild ride…if you do the work.

As you read through the 5 steps that follow, slow down and take your time. Don’t rush. Work at your own pace. Read more

Unexpected Gifts Fill Your Love Bank

Today when I returned home a brown package was waiting with a picture taped to the outside of the box showing me having a wonderful time in Colorado. I knew instantly who it was from but what was inside the box? We were not in the habit of exchanging gifts and my curiosity was getting the best of me. I hurried into the kitchen and found a box cutter to open my treasure. Inside was a simple gift of five Ponderosa Pine cones and a candle that had printed on it “New Beginnings” with my favorite George Eliot quote, “It is never too late to be who you might have been.”  I smiled hugely as I a breathed in the candle’s fragrance of rosemary and vanilla. My smile was so big because what I was actually breathing in was the love. You see this wonderful friend knew I was working with brand new aspects of my business and wanted to support me. I was at a starting place, a new beginning.

This friend filled up my love bank. I believe each of us has an energetic love bank deep inside and every time someone does something nice for you- gives you a hug or a complement it adds to your energy love bank. The more love you can add to yours the more love you have available to give. My friend filled my love bank with this simple gift that traveled from Colorado to New York. I arranged the pine cones along with small Christmas balls around the candle on a red plate and put it proudly on my coffee table. Now, each time I walk into the room I am reminded that my love bank is being filled. I smile and breathe in the love. Read more

Did you know that stress is optional?

Stress Kills…we all know that…but did you know that stress is optional?

First I want to clarify that I am not talking about the good stress that we all adore. You know the kind that adds a bit of spice to your life. I am talking about when stress gets over the top and starts causing you to want make a change!

Step one…Awareness. What is your personal warning system that alerts you when your stress is getting over the top? Left too long it might be illness but there are many signs that are more subtle. It might be tightness in your stomach, a tendency to over eat or drink…you could even find yourself easily angered. Become aware of your early warning system. It is there to protect you.

Step two… Acknowledge. In today’s fast paced world it is often overlooked that you are stressed. Sometimes you are too busy to even check in with yourself. Stop and admit what isn’t working in your life.

Step three …Choice. Did you know that stress is a choice?  This is a tough one for some people. Read more

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