Friend
October 29, 2009 by David Ritter
We have often heard something like; “you pick your friends, but family is picked for us”. Family is certainly something we are “gifted” with and it can sometimes be a struggle to understand if the stork was drunk or simply lost. Good or bad, we spend most of our lives trying to be part of our family and be accepted as equal. Some day’s and some people are certainly more difficult than others. Either way, because they are our family, we almost always keep trying.
However, do we really pick our friends either? True friendship, is shared, without jealousy, control and insecurity and is very rare indeed. I would suggest that those that profess to have a large circle of friends and several BFF’s as they are now referred, simply have many close acquaintances with similar interest. Each of those acquaintances having different needs, wants and limitations and not always in your best interest.
It is probably safe to say that if you look at your circle of “friends”, it is not you that picked them, but maybe, they that picked you. Remember that if your light burns bright and your music is heard people will look to you to light their path. Having acquaintances and people to interact with and spend time with, and sharing interests with is a wonderful thing that should be encouraged. However, knowing each relationship for what it is and seeing its limitations and boundaries is critical for self-care.
FRIENDS, like family, we do not pick, we simply have to find where the Universe has put them. If you are truly blessed, you may find you have more than one FRIEND. You do not have to have a spouse, partner or lover to have a FRIEND, but your spouse, partner or ,lover should always be a FRIEND. Friends, like life partners, must be willing to accept your changes and growth. Without that willingness from each, the friendship can not endure. Look at each friendship closely and remember that they like you, have and will continue to grow and change.
As you look at all those changes ask yourself; “Have you been FRIENDS a long time, or a long time ago you were FRIENDS”? A FRIEND gives and shares without judgment or selfish motives and demands the same in return. Take the time to find where the Universe has put your FRIEND.
~David
Sometimes you have none of the above only yourself. .
I found this out on the same day as this wrtie up October 29, as I was in a hospital room ALONE – Universe did not put a friend (other than myself) in my room.
Also coming to terms that death and dying are a part of life and have to be seen as part of
an everyday happening as well, for example we found out that day my dear cousin MaryBeth’s mother ’s cancer has spread to breast, lung, kidney, liver, and bone. MaryBeth lived here in American with me for 16 years, she now lives in Ireland, her music has stopped for now and she is sad, alone and needing HER friend ME..
I am here in American and can not be there for her, on the same day that I was alone thinking of her. Sometimes, you need to face hard truths and feel the pain of what is, mourn,and then pull forward. Everyday is not Rainbows.
Most friendships are an illiusion of what someone else wants anyways…the only true person
you should be a friend to is YOURSELF.
So in truth it is better to have no freinds (or few) than false freinds – Then always a surprise at who DOES show up in the end.
I AM BLESSED to have learned this. Thank you for your wrting at the prefect timing.
Do you know something, I have begun to speak out loud about the gifts in life that are so dear to me. Last night I talked to several friends and I told each one of them I love you. It felt so nice to say what is in my heart. I has generated such a warm and positive vibration. Don’t wait! Tell someone today what is in your heart.
As I have come to know this UNIVERSE, I have been blessed with a true friend that has shown me how to love unconditionally. The fact that you find yourself alone is truely your own doing. I believe people must value their own friends and keep them to the highest importance. If you find yourself alone in this world is it because you didn’t look around you when you had the chance. The UNIVERSE is an amazing place. It holds dreams and reality all in one place. You can live your everyday reality and turn those dreams into your reality.
All I can say to you, Joanne, is that you must learn to move forward with your new life and appeciate those who you come in contact with in the FUTURE. Taking the people our lives cross for granted is one major mistake in life. Because when life throws you curves, it is up to YOU to survive and it is your friends and family who you hold dearly to be your shoulder to cry on when needed. Moving forward from the past is a giant step, but again for you…it is where you need to go because the past is over and the future is now. MOVE ON.
The bonds we make in our youth are everlasting. They are patterned into the fabric of our lives. Time shifts, looks change, and much is left behind as we move along. But, there are bits and pieces of our past that follow us through in life. Just like the woven threads of a tapestry that are integral to its design, friends from our childhood will continue to appear and reappear in our hearts and in our lives, because the bonds of youth remain.
People can leave each other, cross continents, sever ties. But, if there are lessons to be learned from one another, if they are meant to be together, then time and distance dissolve and they are reunited once again.
When love or friendship is strong and runs deep, it pulsates with an energy that cannot be stopped, not even by death’s grip. When two souls are connected and one departs from this world, the separation may seem final, but in truth the relationship transcends time. Love, like a river, flows eternal, and it embraces all those who swim in its streams, and so does friendship.
Be kind to the people you meet on the highways and byways of your life because paths cross, lanes merge, and you never know where or when you may meet some of those very same people again.