Every day certainty, mental health days are a must!

The magazine looked as though it had been read and re-read over and over again, sporting a wide tear in the cover. It hadn’t been read yet, just well worn. It was carried around with the best intentions of taking the time to read it.

Finally getting a moment to read the crinkly pages of the July 8th issue of Woman’s Day magazine, the beautiful photo of a suitcase open with a hat, bikini (not that I would wear one), flip flops and sunglasses seemed to be screaming read me.

The little quarter page blurb about Mental Health Matters was titled “Take a Real Break” and went on to explain that women who take a vacation every two years instead of yearly have a greater chance of depression to those females who run away from their lives yearly. The study was conducted at the National Institute for Occupational Safety and Health.

According to Kathleen Hall, Phd., women are more likely to miss the benefits of a break, which include reducing anxiety, stress and anger while stimulating the production of calming brain chemicals. This caused me to wonder, “What are the effects of not taking a break from not only life but also from fertility treatments?”

In a recent coaching session with a client whose arm resembled a pincushion we talked about the isolation, stress, sadness and pain of experiencing the physical, emotional and social pressures of trying to create a child; when every effort just doesn’t seem to work.

One of the strategies that I advocate is “taking a mini vacation” from it all. Escapism is underrated when infertility becomes all encompassing and totally overwhelming.

It’s not running away, but it’s running to nurture yourself in the way that is best for you at the given circumstance.

Escapism is mental diversion by means of entertainment or recreation, as an “escape” from the perceived unpleasant aspects of daily stress. It can also be used as a term to define the actions people take to try to help relieve feelings of depression or general sadness. (www.wikipedia.org)

I remember “taking a break” from our journey for months and each and every time my husband, Mark, began pushing me to begin again, it was like I was fully dressed in beach attire and gingerly testing the water as the waves crashed onto shore. It wasn’t until I was pushed and truly felt I was strong enough to withstand the trials and situations of an IVF cycle that I did move forward and begin the process.

Taking a Break doesn’t mean you’re giving up, it means that you’re already creating a balance and a habit of self nurturing which is so important during any transition in life and allows for recharging of your fortitude muscle.

So, even if you say you can’t get away soon, try to get away for a half- day like the little blurb suggested. Schedule something to look forward to or perhaps just unplug for a day. Leave your computer, cell phone and all other electronic leashes home and feel the benefits of releasing every day pressures.

The escapism coupled with the “Acting as if” strategy will give you an uplift. “Acting as if” you’re not currently in the most trying time of your life for even an hour will help you connect with that fortitude that it takes when you’re facing what only all of us who have been through this journey can completely understand.

Set Your Intention

There is a wonderful Buddhist Proverb “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”.

If you set your intention or mini goal for your “escape day” to bring you exactly what you need at this given moment to heal you from this trauma and move forward with ease, you’ll be surprised as to what experience will come your way as you run away!

Well, if you need me, I’m running away to the beach for the day and I hope to see you there!

Kristen Magnacca is the author, speaker and Every Day Certainty Life Coach. To learn more about her books visit her at www.kristenmagnacca.com
Girlfriend to Girlfriend: A Fertility Companion and Love and Infertility: Survival Strategies for Balancing Infertility, Marriage and Life coming out in paperback Sept. 08.

The article above was written for RESOLVE and published in their Bayside newsletter. RESOLVE is a National Infertility Association - visit their Bay State chapter here.