Tough Day

Today is a tough day.
I’ve had a setback. I’ve had the rug pulled out from under me.
I’m the recipient of an unpleasant suprise package.
This is tough. This is really, really tough.
I don’t want to let this stop me.
I don’t want to let this get in my way and take me down.
This one is hard to get over.
This one is hard to put behind me.
This is a pill that’s hard to swallow.
Enough.
I’ve got to get out from behind this somehow.
Where am I going now? I don’t know.
How am I going to get there? I don’t know.
Is anyone going to help me? I need help. I don’t know.
I’ve got to start by helping myself. No one is going to change the way I’m feeling for me.
What’s to be gained by feeling this way? How long is too long before it’s time to move on?
I want to move on right now. This is gripping my heart and I want it to let go. I want it to let go right now and leave me alone.
I close my eyes now, breathe softly, deeply, and picture the sunlight on the green leaves around my home.
Calm. Still. Take control. I am there now. Between each word, I close my eyes. I take a breath. I remember that for which I am grateful. I am humbled by that which has been given to me.
I don’t know what will happen, but I’ve got to go there with head held high, and a smile on my face.

There. I think I’m going to make it.